Melt My Frozen Heart (SasoDei)
by AlwaysInfinity
Summary: Some said that he had a heart of stone, some said that he had no heart at all. But what more could you expect from a teen who had been living alone for nine years now? Over that time, his heart froze.
1. Chapter 1

Sasori sighed as he walked to school by himself, as always. It was the first day of his tenth year at school, which he was not looking forward to. I mean, what was there to enjoy, anyways? Loud chatter, loud bells, loud announcements, loud teachers yelling at brats to pay attention to the loud lecture... oh joy, what fun. But then again, when was Sasori Akasuna looking forward to anything in general?

A group of little kids ran by him, one of them tripping onto the ground with a loud cry. Sasori inwardly groaned. He did not need to deal with excess noise before the day even started. 

Some said that he had a heart of stone, some said that he had no heart at all. But what more could you expect from a teen who had been living alone for nine years now? His parents had been involved in a car accident when he was at a young age, and his grandmother - the only family he had left - was extremely ill. So he was left alone, to fend for himself, for nine whole years. 

Over that time, his heart froze. 

At first, it was painful. Agonizingly painful. Reality had hit him very hard. The fact that his parents were no more was enough to tear the poor boy to shreds. Which it did, ultimately. During that time, Sasori had suffered extreme depression and even attempted to commit suicide. (However, he suddenly decided not to; he had felt a familiar presence near him at the time, and found it somewhat... comforting. Afterwards, the pain was replaced with general numbness. He wasn't aware of anything anymore. It was like he was a robot; oblivious to anything and everything except for the task he had to accomplish. Which was - in this case - living. But before long, Sasori learned to accept it, and eventually moved along with his life, as always. 

However, his heart was frozen over. He had gone through so much emotional pain that he simply could not feel them anymore.

It had all started and ended with the death of his parents. The start of his new life with the end of his old. Looking back on it, he preferred his current state much better. Sure, he didn't have much of a family, but so what? He was over it. It wasn't like he could go through time and change the unfortunate events anyways, so there was no real point in sulking.

There was also no point in having emotions, either.

Back then, if he had assessed the situation in a calm manner - without any emotional biases - things would have been much better. He wouldn't have had to take therapy for a whole year, or summer school to make up for all the wasted days he spent in his room, crying. And not to mention the fact that he almost ended his own life by choice. No matter what way he looked at it, emotions were just a burden that clouded your vision from the things that actually mattered. But he was free of them, unbound by the chains that held humans back. He would even go as far as to say that his parent's deaths were not in vain, since he benefited from it greatly. But he did still hold a bit of respect for his parents. It wasn't quite love, just something he thought he'd ought to have. It didn't really mean anything to him.

Sasori turned a corner, and was faced with the towering, open gates of Kisaragi High. He could see the mobs of people crowding around the entrance way, eager to see old friends and whatnot. He could already envision what the school year would be like, how many people he'd have to face, how much noise there'd be with all the accumulated voices... it was enough to set his head spinning.

He checked his watch. 8:20. School didn't start until 8:30. Why had he come so early? Now he had to spend a whole ten minutes doing nothing among a bunch of loud brats. Or he could go look for some familiar people that he could consider "friends", like Pein, Konan, Kakuzu, or Itachi. They didn't really talk to each other, but they were all involved in similar situations. Pein and Konan were orphans that grew up together. Kakuzu had been kicked out of his house, and made his money off of e-marketing. As for Itachi, his whole family was a complete mystery, although Sasori had heard rumors saying that his whole family was murdered (with an exception of his little brother, whose whereabouts were unknown.) He didn't exactly remember when and how the "group" was formed, but he found himself subconsciously around them a lot. From a third person's perspective, one could say that they actually looked like they cared for each other, which was obviously the contrary. Well, at least _he _didn't care. Why would he? What have they ever done for him?

Leaning against his usual tree, he sighed. His usual group couldn't be seen from where he was, and he wasn't going to go out of his way to look for them. He checked his watch. 8:22. This was going to be a long wait. Maybe he could at least pull out a book and start studying or something.

"Sempaii! Tobi's riding the skateboard!" Ugh. Brats.

"Tobi, you f*cker! Give me back my skateboard! If you break it I'll-" Why were their voices so loud? How annoying.

"It's okay, it's okay. Tobi will be carefu- ahhh!" A loud thump was heard. Sasori looked up to see a group of guys not too far away. There was a guy with silver hair and magenta eyes, one with a swirly orange mask on his face, and one with really long, blonde hair. It had been the orange-faced one that fell off the skateboard, and the silver haired one that owned it. By the looks of it, they seemed to be first-years at Kisaragi High. Tch. First years were always such a bother to cope with.

8:26. At least the brats helped him kill some time. Might as well start heading in. But before he did, he heard the blonde speak up.

"Hey guys, it's almost 8:30. We should start getting to class, yeah." Yeah?

"Yeah, guess so. Don't want to be late on the first day of school," the albino replied.

"Sempaiii... Tobi thinks he lost the school map..."

"Jashin dammit! What did I say about losing the map, you little -"

"Hidan, calm down. We can just ask someone. There's no need to fight this early in the morning." Sasori agreed with the latter statement.

8:28. He should start moving. After all, he hated to make people wait. He started heading towards the entrance in a brisk walk.

"Excuse me, un!" Sasori kept on walking.

"I'm talking to you! Red hair!" Tch. Persistent brat.

"Hey!" The blonde had ran in front of him, blocking his way. Sasori deadpanned. Couldn't the child just leave him alone?

"Sorry for stopping you, yeah, but my friends and I were wondering where-"

"I don't know, and I don't care," Sasori cut off the blonde mid-sentence and kept on walking. Once again, he was stopped. By the same brat.

"Come on, man. We're first years here, yeah! Couldn't you lend us a hand on our first day?" The blonde was tearing out every remaining strand of his patience, one by one.

"You were given a map before you left for summer break. You should have at least taken a look at it," he replied in a monotone voice.

"But we didn't do that, and now we don't have a map either."

"That's your problem, isn't it?" It was more of a statement than a question. "Now, if you'll excuse me, _brat._" He walked past the blonde with a quicker pace. If he didn't hurry up, he'd definitely be late. And late people were almost as bad as loud people.

Almost.

"Fine then, be like that, yeah!" The blonde shouted behind him. "Freaking jack*ss..."


	2. Chapter 2

Sasori glared at the teacher from his desk. He had run down hallways, jumped down flights of stairs, and even managed to push past people in order to arrive at exactly 8:30 (which he did, ultimately.) And here he was, sitting at his desk, covered in bruises and with a potentially sprained ankle.

All for the teacher himself to be ten minutes late.

And he was stuck with him for the rest of the English course. Sasori groaned inwardly at the thought. He should have taken the course during the summer instead. Ah, but then it would have clashed with his summer job. So either way, he would have been stuck with this sorry (and late) excuse for a teacher. He sighed. Maybe there could have been a way to prevent this. Maybe he should have asked for a class change. Maybe he should have done research on his teachers beforehand. Maybe—

"Akasuna no Sasori?"

Sasori looked up from his desk to see Kakashi-sensei standing above him, a book in hand.

"Yes." He responded. What did he want? He hadn't even given out instructions yet, let alone done attendance.

"It says in your records that you have a spare from an extra math class you finished last year." Oh right, he had finished his tenth grade math in his ninth year. Maybe he could use the spare as an extra English class, and use the current one as a spare. Yes, that would work, and he wouldn't have to deal with such incidents like these every morning.

"And your marks in English are way above average." Of course they were. He still didn't understand why it was possible for people to actually _fail _courses; the assignments that were given weren't even that hard. But then again, he was in a school full of loud, annoying idiots, who would rather spend their time with their "significant other".

Another reason why emotions were completely useless.

"So, we were thinking…" _We? _How many people were involved in this one thought? And exactly how long does it take for one to voice out this single thought? Sasori resisted the urge to glare at the teacher. He really didn't like waiting for results. Especially from some brat-like teacher that arrives late on a daily basis.

"There are two first years that are having trouble with English. And since you're really good at the subject and have a spare…" Oh. He was being used now, was he? His spare was being taken away to benefit two little first year brats who are probably loud and annoying and—

"…and this will give you a full credit in the English course on top of the one you'll get from this class. And – depending on how well this "study session" works out, we may give you an extra credit in Socials…" Socials? Did he mean the useless course where you learn to talk about your dreams and goals and figure out how to reach them? Did he really need a credit in that? And either way, he'd still be stuck in this English class.

"…the study session will meet today, after school. Alright? Thanks again!" Kakashi said as he walked back to his desk. Sasori's eye twitched. Since when did he agree to any of this? And the first session was to be held _today?! _Well, isn't that great. And why after school? Why not during his actual spare? What if he had some kind of extra-curricular to go to, or had to babysit, or had to spend time with the mall at his friends?

Wait, it was supposed to be "at the mall, with his friends." It wouldn't work the other way.

He never did any of the previous anyways, so it didn't really matter. But the teacher could have at least given him a week's notice beforehand. Some teacher he was… he wasn't even doing anything at the moment. Just reading some book that had absolutely no relation to the education of students. Great.

Maybe there were worksheets at the front. Sasori lifted his head to see if there were. There weren't, much to his annoyance.

After fifty more minutes of this, he had math. Then lunch. Then tech. Then his spare.

It was going to be a long day.

* * *

><p>Sasori sat down at the usual lunch table in the corner of the room. This was where he – and the rest of the group – would eat. It was a good place considering that it was almost always overlooked by everyone, so people seldom bothered them.<p>

Itachi was already there. They gave each other a nod of acknowledgement before going back to their own business. It was always like this: Itachi would arrive first, then Sasori, then Pein and Konan (who always travelled together, Sasori noted), then Kakuzu. All within the span of five minutes or less. It was always a quiet process, which Sasori liked best.

But today, there seemed to be an exception. That exception being three loud, obnoxious brats trying to look for a spot to sit.

He was using the word "loud", "obnoxious" and "brat" very frequently today. That couldn't be a good thing. But he'll probably use it a couple hundred more times as the day goes on. It was probably one of the inevitable things in his life.

"Yo guys! There's a table that's practically empty over here!" One of them yelled. Sasori winced.

"Really? Where?" Wait. These voices sound familiar.

"Ooh! Ooh! Tobi wants to sit! Tobi wants to sit!" Oh. It was _them. _The ones that lost their map. Why. Why him. Why them. Why now, during his almost perfect lunch?

The sound of a chair being dragged out could be heard as said people sat down. Out of the corner of his eye, Sasori could see Itachi raising a brow at the new people. Most people – if they didn't fail to notice the existence of their group – would sense the uneasy atmosphere around them, and wisely choose another place to sit. And if they didn't, Kakuzu would glare at them until they either left or pissed themselves (the latter had happened once before, and it was definitely not a pleasant experience for _any_ of them).

The orange one – Sasori guessed – would definitely be scared in one way or another. The albino – Kakuzu can deal with him. And as for the last one-

"What's up, f*ckers!" the silver haired one yelled out. Everyone flinched at the loud sound. Well, everyone except for the newcomers.

It was Orange-face's turn to pipe up. "I'm Tobi! This is Hidan, and this is Deidara-Sempai!" Tobi was the orange one, Hidan the silver, Dei-something was the last one. Deirarana? He had really long hair for a guy. Actually, he had hair longer than some of the girls he's seen.

As if reading his mind, "Tobi" spoke again, "Sempai has really long hair, but he's not a girl, he's a guy! So don't try to kiss him, okay? Hehe, just kidding!"

"Shut up, Tobi!" Mentioned blonde hit him on the head, causing him to fall into the chair beside Hidan... who seemed to be trying to start a conversation with Kakuzu. Who was glaring at him, obviously.

Sasori slumped back in his chair and (tried to) drown out the voices around him. There was no one to pay attention to, anyways. The Hidan brat was occupied with Kakuzu, Tobi with Itachi. Pein and Konan were just there, watching everything unfold. Normally, he would try and tell them to leave, but today he seemed to be a bit tired. And although it was really loud, it was bearable. As long as he himself didn't have to associate with a brat of some sort-

"Hey, it's _you_, yeah!" He had spoken too soon.

"Is it?" Sasori responded apathetically. It was more of a statement rather than a question.

"You were the jerk that just ignored us this morning!"

"And you were the brat that interrupted me on the way to class."

"Would it have hurt to help us a bit, yeah?!"

"Would it hurt for you to shut up and leave?" This brat was getting quite annoying.

"You can't make me leave. In fact, I'm going to sit here from now on." He pulled out a chair and sat in it with determination. As if he was trying to prove a point. Tch. The brat would move on eventually. It was less troublesome to let him stay until he leaves rather than forcing him to leave now.

"We'll see how long you last."

"Oh, don't worry. I'll be here for a long time."

The table finally went silent as everyone ate their lunch. It was a beautiful silence that Sasori longed for. Such artistic, eternal silence.

"So… what are all of your names?" Hidan asked. No response.

"What classes do you have this semester?" Tobi tried to add on. "What are your favorite subjects?" No response. Ah, the silence of it all. Hidan and Tobi asked questions in turn, trying to get one of them to speak. But to no avail.

It was all perfect, until the stupid Dei-die-suicide-whatever-his-name-is asked his question.

"What do you think about art, yeah?"

And then all havoc erupted.


	3. Chapter 3

Maybe there were ways to avoid this.

Maybe he shouldn't have listened when the blonde opened his mouth for the millionth time.

Maybe Sasori should have given up on art, like he told himself to. After all, it was practically a useless skill in life. I mean, it wasn't going to help him in the future in any way, was it now?

He had been trying to forget about art for the past five years. He had loved art as long as he could remember. However, it took up a lot of time and effort. And thoughts and emotions.

He had told himself that art was different from feelings; that art was eternal, unlike the fragile minds of people. But deep inside, he knew that he'd have to give it up someday.

The more he thought about it, the more it didn't make sense: why was it that he was not able to let go of something as small as a hobby, a recreation? What was it that kept him going, that made him cling on to the subject? What was it, exactly?

And, not knowing the answer to the question, he decided to just leave it be. And it was safely put away in the back of his mind, now almost never touched nor remembered.

Until _someone _just _had _to open their big, loud mouth and ask a question.

He could have asked any other question in the world. He could have made any other statement. He could have just not come to the table in the first place.

Maybe then, this whole mess could have never happened.

But sadly, it did.

"What do you think about art, yeah?"

Sasori's ears perked up at the question. Out of all the other things the blonde could have said, he did not suspect the topic of art to be one of them.

"There you go again, talking about your stupid art and whatnot. Jashin, I bet none of these people even care. I mean, who cares about art, right?" Hidan spoke a bit too loudly. He was also glancing over at Kakuzu, Sasori noted.

"Sempai's art isn't stupid! Tobi thinks it's beautiful!" Tobi defended in his "sempai"s stead. "But maybe if it lasted a bit longer…" If only it lasted a bit longer? Wasn't all art created in order to last? Isn't that the basis of art? Just what kind of thing were these people talking about?

The blonde huffed. Sasori had yet to remember his name. Was it Dei-something? Dei-arana? "That's the _point_, Tobi. How many times do I have to tell you? Fine art is all about that one, fleeting moment of explosion, the one point of passion that grasps the whole canvas in a blast, the unforgettable moment of true beauty—" Sasori was between being dumbstruck and annoyed. It was striking because he had never heard of such an opinion before. However, it was quite annoying because the blonde had gotten it all wrong; that was not what true art was about. True art was eternal, forever-lasting, immune to the decay that happens to everything else. True art held its meaning throughout. True art takes time to prepare, and so time must be managed so that it is finished at planned, as planned. True art-

"And there he goes again with his whole explosions crap." The albino exclaimed loudly once more, giving occasional glances to Kakuzu (who seemed quite ready to murder everyone at the table, especially the silver haired male). The blonde and Hidan exchanged looks, which made him quickly add, "But you never know for sure. Right, Deidara?"

Deidara. That was his name.

"Yeah, maybe…" Deidara gave everyone at the table a look. It was as if he was searching for something hidden behind someone's eyes. But there was no way he could detect something as vague as emotion in people's eyes. Eyes were eyes. A physical part of the human body that has nothing to do with the mental part. Your eyes stay the same; it doesn't matter if you like or dislike a certain thing.

And even if he could tell, there was no way he could decipher anything from _his _eyes. There was absolutely no way. He had that cold look down pat; nothing could look beyond it.

Their eyes met. Sasori gave him his usual, monotone look. The blonde blinked, and in that moment Sasori knew that he knew. How he figured out by looking solely at his eyes was still a mystery to him. But – somehow – he had broken through his barrier.

"You don't strike me as the artist type, yeah." Everyone at the table turned towards the two of them. Sasori groaned internally. Why did he have to deal with this when he was supposed to be enjoying a relaxing, not-as-loud-and-annoying lunch?

"Did you think that all artists were brats like you?" he replied. He expected some loud yelling to be heard in response from the blonde, but that was not the case. In fact, his expression changed from one of distaste to one of… hope?

"Wait, you're actually an artist?"

Sasori mentally face-palmed. Why did he have to deal with such idiocy? But part of him was a bit – pleased – that he was called an artist. Something he didn't know he was longing for until now. However, those feelings were once again pushed back as he answered.

"Not quite."

The blonde had a very intrigued look on his face. "Then you must like art a lot, yeah. Maybe even more than me. If that's even possible, yeah." Sasori rolled his eyes. The brat probably didn't even like art that much. And he had just gone from hostile to – dare he say – almost friendly. Just because of some weird vision he saw in his eyes? The brat had to give him a break.

"What's your view on art?" He was really persistent, wasn't he. Sasori didn't need to be reminded again.

After Sasori didn't respond, he asked again. "Or are you just going to ignore me, yeah? Really, I thought we could have a good conversation here. You know, artist to artist." He had indirectly called him an artist again. This wasn't good.

But why did it feel so nice? He was actually tempted to answer to the blonde's wishes.

"I'll ask again: what do you think art is about?"

Don't answer. Don't answer. Don't answer. Don't answer.

"Fine. If you're not going to say anything, I will. I think art is only supposed to last a moment and—"he couldn't take it anymore. It was just too much. All the memories, all the experience, everything that was sealed inside of the artistic side of him spilled out. And it all began with one word.

"Wrong."

The blonde blinked, being cut off mid-sentence. "Sorry?"

"I said, wrong. You're wrong. That's not what art is."

The blonde smirked, finally getting a reaction from the redhead. "Then do please tell me what true art really is."

A huge part of him screamed at him to not say anything. To just forget about those past memories. But that piece of him got smaller and smaller until it eventually disappeared. With nothing but his artistic mind remaining.

So might as well go with it, right?

"True art is described as something that lasts forever, something that will never disappear from the world, something that will never die out." Sasori let out. For some reason, he felt relatively good inside.

"But there's no such thing. Everything dies out sooner or later. So if it's eventually going to be erased from the world, what better way to do it than in an explosion that people will remember? That way, it'll live in the hearts of people forever." Deidara countered. But it wasn't good enough.

"Everything dies out, you say? That's what makes true art beautiful. The fact that it is able to withstand forces of destruction that nothing else can, and still hold its beauty… that fact alone makes it the most intricate creation in the world."

"Does such a thing even exist? Have you ever seen such a creation?"

"Maybe it does, maybe it doesn't. One does not need to necessarily see art to know its art; they must also know the meaning behind it. It was my intention to create such art..." he trailed off.

"_Was, _you say?"

"Yes, I…" Sasori stopped talking. What was he to do? He had given up on art, but what was this feeling he had right now? It felt familiar, but he just couldn't put a finger on it. It was quite a nice feeling, and it'd be a shame to let it go… but the facts were still facts. He had said that he would never associate himself with art ever again. And that was that. It was too late to go back now.

Or was it?

"You…?" Deidara repeated, awaiting the answer. Ah, that was it. It was _his_ entirefault. He had brought up the topic of art, and now because of it, he had started to second-guess his already-made decisions. How annoying.

But is that how he really felt inside?

Before either of them could say any more, the bell rang, signalling the start of fourth period. Oh joy, tech class. He couldn't wait. In fact, he should hurry there right now. Ignoring Deidara's calls, he quickly headed towards the tech room. As to why he was trying to avoid Deidara was beyond his comprehension. Or maybe it wasn't.

Maybe there were ways to avoid this from happening.

Maybe he shouldn't have talked to the blonde.

Maybe he should just stick to avoiding the blonde. After all, he was the one that started everything, that started making him feel all weird inside.

But maybe – just _maybe_ – it wasn't completely a bad thing.

And maybe – once again, just a _maybe _– he'll start taking art again…


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: **Eww… ew ew ew… I really really hate this chapter, it's so disgusting and extra ooc… fdjfhkdjsafhldsfj.

The cringe level is so real…

* * *

><p>The thing with spares was that you were basically free to do whatever you want, as long as you kept quiet about your own business. And so it was a very convenient time for Sasori to "brush up" a bit on his art.<p>

He went to the library and sat down in his usual spot. The day was really dragging on, and it felt quite nice to sit at a quiet, secluded area where he was left alone to do whatever he pleased.

Hmm... what to draw today. Maybe more oak shelves, or mahogany tables, or just another wooden inanimate object. Wood was Sasori's favourite medium; it was always so sturdy, and held many details. The material definitely had some kind of artistic nature to it.

He reached for his sketchbook in his bag. He didn't know why he still carried it around. Or why he didn't get a new one when it started falling apart. He had had it since he was fourteen; when his passion for art had started. It was a present that his Grandmother had sent him from the hospital.

He held it gingerly in his hands. It was really worn out. But not worn out to the point where he really, truly needed a new one. Sure, there were a few bits and pieces that didn't quite make it, but it wasn't anything that tape couldn't fix. But once it was destroyed completely, he would maybe get a new one.

That was the only reason he still kept it around. There was definitely no other reason.  
>Or so he kept telling himself.<p>

Opening the book to a new page, he started to draw the outline of a human body. As to why he chose one was beyond him at the time. And it didn't really matter, either. His thoughts started wandering off to the conversation he had with the blon - er - Deidara during lunch.

He had said that true art was fleeting. Ha ha. Right. What an idiot. Does he even take art this semester? He felt somewhat bad for whoever the teacher would be.

But only somewhat.

It had been a while since someone had actually listened to him talk about art like that. He almost seemed to encourage him to voice out his opinion, as if he wanted to listen to what he had to say.

Deidara, huh? Such a weird name. It fit the person, though.

Maybe they'll get to talk again someday. Not that he cared if they didn't. What would they even talk about, anyways, other than art? Sports? Girls? Malls?

Do guys even go shopping for recreation?

Or they could just talk about art. He wouldn't mind that _too_ much.

His cheeks started hurting. Why was that? Oh. He had been smiling this whole time. Maybe he was just really happy that it was finally quiet. Silence always made him happy, after all.

His mind wandered back to the previous events. Why had he run away from Deidara?

Well, maybe he didn't exactly run away, but it wasn't like he had stayed, either.

And - just a tiny bit more importantly - why had he opened up to him? Why did he even start talking? Sure, it was art, but it's not like he would have conversed to just about any idiotic "artist". What was so special about him? In fact, he seemed almost brattier than most.

He had definitely felt... something... at the time. But what was it exactly? An emotion? He hadn't had those in a while. And frankly, didn't want them back. Ever.

But whatever it was… he wouldn't mind feeling it again. He didn't _like_ it, of course; such illogical things always made him annoyed to no end. But this time, he found it a bit more tolerable. A lot more tolerable. It was there, yet it didn't seem like an obstruction. It felt… natural.

Maybe a bit _too _natural. Maybe he didn't really feel anything back then, and it was just annoyance and obnoxiousness prodding his mind. Maybe he was dizzy from all the blonde's nonsense-talk. Maybe he was developing some sickness or whatnot?

Tch. Why was he dwelling so much on something so trivial? He'd ignore it for now. It was probably something that happened according to the situation; he didn't feel anything as of right now.

He heard the bell ring. What? Was his spare finished already? He looked down at his drawing. Only the outline of the body was drawn faintly. Since when did he get so distracted?

Okay, enough of this. He had a "study session" to attend. And of course, the teacher didn't tell him where to meet up. He would have asked, but he really didn't want to meet the brats anyway. Maybe he'll just stay in the library and hope that the brats (won't) find their way. And if they don't meet, it's not his fault that the teacher didn't give clear enough instructions.

But just in case, he should probably get some English text books. Who knows, maybe Kakashi sensei is on scouting duty today.

He headed towards the English section of the library. What did they need help with specifically, anyways? Maybe he'll get a bit of everything? He picked out at least five different books. These will have to do until he gathered more information.

He heard footsteps nearby, followed by a lot of hushed yelling. He deadpanned. Quiet noise did not mean that it wasn't noise. And it sure didn't make it any less annoying, either.

"We don't even know who this person is! How are we even going to find him?" Oh, this voice. Hidan, was it? Was he lost again? Sasori started to walk in the other direction. Not dealing with them again.

"I know... Kakashi sensei didnt even tell us where to meet, yeah. And his door is locked, so hopefully they're somewhere here." Deidara's voice. Sasori nodded to himself and then stopped abruptly. Did they mention Kakashi sensei? Something about meeting someone?

"Well at least we know this f*ckers name. Or at least you know it. He had some weird-*ss name that I can't remember. Kakuzu, was it?"

"No, it was Akasauna no Sasene. Or something like that, yeah. I don't remember either. But what's the point in all of this, anyway? Can't we just ditch and say the guy didn't show up?"

Akasauna no Sasene, huh. Tch. Some remembering. They were - without a doubt - the two missing people in his study session. He walked up quietly behind them.

"It's Sasori." The two males jumped, startled by the sudden voice. Hidan was the first to turn around.

"Who the – oh Jashin, it's _you _again!" What had he ever done to the two of them?! It wasn't _his _fault that they got lost, was it now?

Deidara turned around as well. "…Oh. It is you. Are you our English tutor, yeah?" Sasori's eye twitched. Were they really going to refer to him as 'you' throughout the whole day?

"Yes, I believe so." He tossed the pile of books into their arms. "Will these be sufficient, or shall I get some more books from the middle school section?" he added the last bit sarcastically.

"Hey, we aren't _that _stupid, yeah." Deidara countered.

"What do you mean by _we? _Last time I checked, I was a whole 25% better than you," Hidan chuckled. Sasori blinked. A whole 25%? And if the Albino had also failed…

"What were your scores in the English exam last year?" Sasori asked the pair.

"F*cking 46%" Hidan replied, a bit too smugly for someone who had failed. How did they even get accepted into the school if they didn't pass? Maybe they had some special education plan that covered them, as was his case.

Wait… he had gotten a 46%? Then that meant the blonde only got a 21. Sasori quirked an eyebrow at said person. "Did you even study for the exams?" he accused. There was no way someone could fail that bad, even without studying. Deidara paused for a bit before answering, a little too cockily.

"Study? Heh. What for? I could have probably aced the whole thing if I actually tried, yeah," the blonde smirked. "But who cares, anyway? It's only English." Sasori deadpanned. This kid had got to be kidding.

Hidan gave Deidara a look. Sasori could have sworn that it held something other than mockery or arrogance. Maybe something along the lines of… worry? But before it could be confirmed, Hidan broke into a smirk. A bit forced, Sasori noted.

"That's right. What's the point in any of this, unless you're trying to become a f*cking author or something?" He and Deidara high-fived as Sasori internally face-palmed. He did not sign up for this. Literally.

"What is it that you guys have the most trouble with?" Sasori asked, a bit annoyed. Okay, not a bit annoyed. A _lot _annoyed. Extremely annoyed.

"Tenses." Hidan said, and then glanced at Deidara. "Err… actually, a bit of everything would be nice." Sasori sighed inwardly, and showed them to a table. He took a book from Hidan and opened it to the first page.

"We'll start with tenses, fill-in-the-blank style." He copied down a couple of questions on a sheet of paper, modifying each a slight bit. Then he passed it to the pair.

"You may start."

Hidan looked over the paper and started doing the questions in his notebook. Deidara, on the other hand, didn't even bother to move. He merely sat down and stared at his pencil, unamused. Sasori sighed as Hidan handed back his papers. Surprisingly enough, they were all correct. He wrote down a couple more exercises and gave the paper back.

"Aren't you going to do them as well?" Sasori questioned the blonde.

"There's no point, yeah."

"Don't you want to pass?"

"Like I said, there's no point. Pass or not, I'll still be here."

"Just because you're covered by an education plan, doesn't mean that you can slack off like this."

Deidara gave him a look. "How'd you know that I have an education plan, yeah?"

"Not anyone can just fail an English exam and still make it to Kisaragi High," Sasori replied. Deidara nodded to himself, yet made no further movements to start the exercises. Sasori left him and turned his focus back to Hidan, who was actually doing pretty decently. A bit _too _decently. He handed him another, certain piece of paper.

"Here, do these."

Hidan sat there for less than a minute before tossing down his pencil and turning to Deidara. "There! F*cking finished! See, Dei? It wasn't _that _bad. You should just get it over with so we can ditch as soon as possible."

Ditch the session, huh. Good idea. Although they were quiet for the most part, their very presence seemed to irritate him. Especially Deidara's.

"I'm done for today." Said blonde got up from his spot and slung his backpack over his shoulder. "I'm leaving now. Don't expect me to come back, ever. Yeah." Fifty percent of burden gone. Nice.

Once Deidara was gone, Hidan grabbed Sasori by the collar and pulled him close. Sasori raised an eyebrow at the Albino.

"What do you want." It was more of a question than a statement, like always.

"Listen, man. I know Deidara seems like a total f*cker right now, but he's a really good guy and-"

"Could you at least put me down before continuing the rest of your life story?" Sasori said in a monotone voice. Really, he had expected more than a simple conversation about the ditching brat.

Hidan let go of Sasori and sat back down. There was a pause before he started speaking again.

"Deidara… he studied really hard for that final exam."

"Do you expect me to believe that? He himself said that he didn't study at all." What was this guy trying to get at?

"No… well he did say that… but he did study. A lot. He just said that he didn't because of his pride. You know, the cockiness and stuff. It's all just an act. Well, I'm not saying that he's never genuinely hot-headed, but you know…" Hidan trailed off.

"Just… could you help him? F*cking please? We've had people help us before, but none of them seem to understand him that well, and you two seemed to get along pretty well today at lunch, so…"

"Why don't you help him yourself?" Sasori interrupted.

Hidan raised an eyebrow. "Are you f*cking kidding me?! I got a 46% on that test, you know! There's no way that someone like me could-" He stopped as the redhead held up the most recent paper he solved. "What about it?"

"You just got all of these questions right."

"Yeah, so what? They were easy."

"This was the first page of the entrance exam two years ago." Sasori deadpanned, and Hidan gulped.

"I believe you're missing a part of the story here. Explain everything to me again, correctly this time." Sasori stated. He wouldn't have usually minded, but this seemed like a very peculiar case. And why was he sent to teach a kid who wasn't even failing? "What did you get on your English exam last year?"

Hidan sighed. "Jashin, fine. I got a 98%, okay? The teachers only sent me here so that Deidara wouldn't feel alone!"

Sasori deadpanned. "What." So because of some stupid loneliness, he had to deal with two brats instead of one?

"I… Tobi and I are the only ones who really understood him. I mean, sure, we didn't lose both parents like he did, but we sorta got what he felt like. Yeah, it sucks, I know," Hidan added at the end. "His mom died when he was born, and his father… uh… yeah. He was an English teacher, so he would always help Deidara out and stuff. Deidara's best subject used to be English. But then, five years ago, his father… yeah. And I don't think he's gotten over it. Like, it's not just because his dad isn't there to help him. It's… oh, I don't know! Something's wrong, okay! I know Deidara was smart enough to answer all those questions on the exam. Just… something happened."

Is this why Sasori was to tutor Deidara? Because they both lost their parents? And why was Hidan leaving out parts just before he talked about the death of Deidara's father?

"And Deidara tries to improve. He really does! He knows he has to snap out of it, but he told me that no matter what he did, he just couldn't! And I try to help him but… Jashin, there's more to it than just knowing the subject itself. You need to know _him._" Hidan stopped talking for a bit before sighing. "I don't know why I'm telling you any of this, man, but you seemed like a nice guy at the lunch table, although you kinda blew us off at the beginning of school…"

Sasori blinked. He seemed like a nice guy, the albino had said. Since when? And now he had to deal with some emotional blonde brat who can't even get over past events? It was bad enough _before _he heard their little sob story. And now the teen in front of him expected him to actually do something about it?!

"I barely know the brat. And you expect me to do something about his condition? Tell him to go to therapy or something, but don't just leave him for me to deal with."

"Can you at least try to be friends with him? I mean, you've lost your parents too, haven't you?" Sasori raised an eyebrow at him. How did he k- "It's a long story. But will you do it?" Hidan asked, almost pleading.

"Why would I do it? There's nothing in it for me."

Hidan sighed. "Fine. The final decision is up to you, but please consider it. I know you're a nice guy at heart; I can read your eyes, you know." Sasori blinked. More about reading eyes?

"Anyways, we'll be back tomorrow, but during your actual spare. So with that…" he got up from his chair and stuffed his notes into his bag. 'I'm off now."

Sasori faceplanted the desk. This was quite a bigger task than he thought it would be. And something told him that Kakashi Sensei knew about this extra load. Tch.

He had to make friends with the blonde? Just because of some depression symptom thing? Tch. This was going to be troublesome…

He found this very annoying, as usual. And the annoyance was doubled, this time, for it had to do with Deidara.

If he were to feel anything other than annoyance, it would probably have something to do with anger, since being annoyed ultimately made him mad.

But for some unknown reason, he felt like smiling.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **Ughhhhhhh... this cringe! I'm so sorry that you had to go through this, minna. (I wrote like 3 drafts of this and eventually ran out of ideas... I tried T_T)


	5. Chapter 5

It was quite annoying how one person had the power to ruin everything.

His days were now very uncomfortably complicated now that the blonde was involved.

And because the blonde was involved, the Albino was involved.

But it was not just any Albino. It was an Albino with plans. Plans to bring them closer together with the title of "friends".

And so, Sasori ended up dealing with the blonde – alone – during his own lunch period. Without any consent whatsoever.

He had been walking to the cafeteria when Hidan had run up to him, blabbering about things (that were obviously not important), and ended up taking him to a room. Hidan had insisted in him opening the door, and when he finally did (just to humor the brat and get all of this over with), he had pushed him inside and locked him up in the pitch-dark room. Oh joy.

And not only was he alone in the room, but with – you guessed it – the cause of all these problems.

Apparently Hidan was not too keen on letting Sasori "think about it", like he said in the library, and decided to continue with what he had planned.

"HIDAN!" the blonde yelled as he ran towards the sound of the door closing. "You better get your *ss back here before I- ow!" Sasori fell back as Deidara collided into him with a loud thud, wincing in pain.

"Sorry! Wait, who is this, yeah?" Deidara questioned as he got up from his previous position, which was on top of Sasori. The redhead groaned as he rubbed his sore head, already developing a headache.

"This is your English tutor, brat," he replied in a fairly ticked off tone. "And isn't it common sense _not_ to run when you can't see anything?"

"Oh, you. What was it again… er… Akasuna?" Sasori would have almost been satisfied if the blonde hadn't added the first statement. He just couldn't go one minute without being a nuisance.

"Yes."

"Do you have a flashlight?"

"If I had a flashlight, I would have turned it on by now, don't you think? Oh, I forgot; brats like you don't tend to do that very often."

"I'm not a brat, yeah!"

"Says the one who lost their map on the first day of school."

"That wasn't my fault! It was Tobi's! And hey, it was just a mistake on his part!"

Sasori hummed sarcastically in reply. Although he had to admit, it was quite amusing to annoy the blonde. But back to the matter at hand: how was he going to get out? If only he really did have a flashlight, or any light-

BANG! Sasori clutched his hears at the sudden, deafening sound as his vision turned white. What was that?!

BANG! Once again, he was blinded by bright light, but this time he could see a bit of his surroundings. During the short period of illumination he managed to spot a stool and some kind of standing structure. Like a stand. Were they in the music room? And why?

Well, at least they were making some sort of noise. Then, someone would at least come to investigate and… oh. It was a music room.

With soundproof walls.

Hidan had thought this one through a bit more than he expected. How annoying.

BANG! Rather than questioning his surroundings once again, he decided to instead find out what was making these bright (and loud) lights. And by the successful use of common sense, he narrowed it down to the only other person in the room.

And he was right, of course.

"I think that's quite enough," Sasori stated.

"One can never have enough of this art! Because my art… is an explosion!" Another loud explosion sounded, as if to prove that it was indeed the greatest form of art there ever was. Sasori snorted.

"Art is fleeting, huh? Did you say that when your parents 'fleeted' away?" If he was put up with this brat just for some counseling on deaths or whatnot, he was going to be blunt about it, and end it quickly as possible. The sooner, the better. Then maybe Hidan would let them out early. Or rather, maybe he would let _him _out early. The brat was none of his concern.

He sensed a slight movement to his right. Ah, there he was.

Sasori expected some cliché, emotion-filled, statement in response. Something along the lines of not understanding what they went through or going through their whole life story or whatnot. Which was the plan, originally.

But this blonde always found a way to screw up his intentions, didn't he.

"My art has nothing to do with my parents. And my parents now have nothing to do with me," he said, almost as bluntly as his own statement.

But no matter; Sasori would just have to go even blunter. Bring the wrath of reality upon the blonde and crush him. There was no other way to help him.

"Your parents are dead, understand?" Sasori replied as harshly as he could. "Whatever connection you had with your father and the English language, you have to drop it. Move on with your life, and maybe you'll see better results on your finals."

"My parents have nothing to do with my grades, either. I only got a low mark because I didn't study, yeah. Why are you so intent on my past anyways?"

"Stop lying to me, brat. I know you studied hard for that test. There's evidently more than just your stupidity that's keeping you from passing."

"How did – so what if I studied hard? Maybe English isn't my cup of tea, or whatever, yeah."

Sasori glared through the darkness. His patience was at its utmost end at this point. "Are you just going to keep pushing away the facts? Learn to accept that your father is dead. This is reality. Face it, and move on."

He could hear Deidara grit his teeth. "You act like you understand." Ah, now here was the heartfelt story of his life. At least he was getting somewhere with this. But something felt a bit… _off._

"You think you're all high and mighty just because you've had a bit of death in your life? Well, I'll tell you something, yeah," He continued in a surprisingly calm voice, "There's more to death than you think. _That _is the reality." There was a pause. "I know Hidan dragged you into this somehow; he still thinks I'm paranoid about my past or something, which I'm not. So I guess I'm sorry for that."

Well, at least that was over with. Now he could stop dealing with the brat.

But something still didn't feel right. In fact, it felt even more off now than it did before.

"Anyways, I'm going to leave now, yeah. I don't know about you, but I'd rather not be stuck here in darkness… ah!" A loud crash was heard as Deidara tripped, bringing down several music stands along with him.

"Can you really not see anything?" At this point Sasori's had adjusted to the dark, and could see the fallen figure on the ground, sprawled among the other equipment.

"No, yeah."

"Yes, or no?" Sasori asked again, slightly irritated.

"I said no, yeah!" Ah, right. The speech impediment. So the blonde _couldn't _see. Sasori sighed and started to head towards the door at the other end.

"H-hey! Wait, er… Akasuna!" Well at least the brat remembered his name this time.

"I'm going to leave now, _yeah_," Sasori replied mockingly, emphasizing his speech impediment. "I don't know about you, but I'd rather not be stuck here in darkness."

"And you're just going to leave me here, yeah? That's not very nice of you as a role model for your fellow first years." Was that supposed to be an insult? If it was, Sasori wasn't affected by it in the slightest.

"Your obnoxious explosives will be sufficient enough to get you out. Or you could wait until the next period class comes."

"Couldn't you at least… ugh, fine! Just leave me here. My art will provide to be much more helpful than you'll ever be."

Sasori mentally facepalmed. This brat was too proud to admit that he needed help getting out. He was tempted to leave him helplessly there, as payback. But if he was left there, an instructor would find him, and that would mean that Sasori would be involved in telling the story of how they snuck into the music room, etcetera, etcetera, which was something he was not cut out for.

So that would mean that he would _have _to help the blonde out to avoid his own trouble. And that was the _only_ reason he was helping out the blonde. There was no other reason involved whatsoever. What other reason would there even be, anyways?

Sasori walked back over to the collapsed pile of music stands, where Deidara still lay. Said male raised his head at the sound of footsteps.

"Why are you here, yeah?" Sasori's eye twitched. Couldn't the brat just accept his help? He almost decided to go back and leave him there for good.

Almost.

"Hold out your hand," he replied, ignoring the previous question. Deidara hesitated for a second before doing as told. Sasori grabbed it, and pulled him up.

"Since you can't see, you'll just have to follow my lead."

Before Deidara could reply, Sasori spoke again: "And I'm not doing this because I care about what happens to you. If you're left here there's a chance I might get in trouble as well."

"I could have gotten out by myself, yeah," Deidara replied. However, his hand – which was tightly gripping Sasori's – said otherwise.

When they reached the exit, Sasori turned the door handle. Which happened to be locked. Great.

"Are we locked in?" asked Deidara.

"Yes."

"Oh…" Deidara sat down, bringing Sasori's hand (and ultimately Sasori) down with him. They sat there awkwardly for a couple of seconds before Sasori realized they were still holding hands.

He considered letting the matter go. It wasn't _too _much of a bother, and the way the blonde's palm rested in his was quite… interesting. He felt his body starting to warm up, the heat rushing from his hand, to his chest area, to his face.

He mentally shook his head, trying to clear the fuzzy feeling that clouded his head. This was entirely the blonde's fault. If not for him, he wouldn't have been dragged into this mess.

That's why he should just let go. Just let go of his hand. Let go, let go already!

Sasori was about to do so when he noticed that the blonde was slightly shaking. He sighed. Another problem with him. Great.

"What's wrong now." It was more of a statement than a question, as always.

"What do you mean, yeah? I didn't do anything."

"You're shaking."

"It's cold."

"It's 30 degrees."

"My point exactly."

"Celsius."

"…Well it doesn't feel like it."

"It does, actually."

"Oh, so you actually care?" Deidara replied in mock awe. "I'm so happy, thank you."

"Care? Why would I do such a thing to someone so bratty?" Sasori pulled his hand away, just as a crash was heard from the other side of the room. Deidara flinched, then quickly regained his composure.

Sasori snorted. "What? Don't tell me you're afraid of the dark?"

"Stop kidding around, Suna. Of course I'm not."

"It's _Aka_suna."

"Same thing. Can't I just call you Sasori?"

"No."

"But it has such a nice ring to it."

"No."

"Please?"

"…I'll consider it if you add an honorific."

"…Fine. Sasori sempai?"

"No."

"Sasori dono?"

"No."

"Sasori… sama?"

"Can't you just call me Akasuna?"

"But everyone else calls you that. It's so unoriginal."

"That's what a name is, brat."

"How long are you going to keep calling me that?"

"Until you stop being a brat, brat." He felt a smirk tugging at the end of his mouth. This time he didn't deny it; making fun of the blonde was really amusing. Almost too amusing.

"I was never a brat in the first place!"

"Then who was the brat that lost their school map on the first day of school?"

"That again? Just let it go, yeah. And that wasn't me, for the last time. It was Tobi. If anyone's the brat, it should be him."

"Right," Sasori replied sarcastically. There was a beautiful silence that followed right after. But this silence didn't feel as beautiful as the other ones.

"Hey," Deidara started. What could he want now?

"Thanks for going back and getting me, yeah. I'll be honest; I probably wouldn't have been able to get out by myself." Finally, some well-deserved appreciation for what he had to deal with!

But then again, it wasn't like he went back to get him because he cared, so the reason as to why he was thanked wasn't viable. So why did he feel somewhat accomplished?

"Like I said before, I didn't do it for you. I did it for myself," Sasori replied with his usual, flat voice.

"Don't be like that. I know you're a really nice guy on the inside." Oh, not this junk again.

Although hearing it from Deidara was quite different from hearing it from Hidan.

But "different" didn't exactly make it any less pointless. It was just the same words, being said by different people. The content was still the same. And so was the meaning. And the feeling. _Especially_ the feeling. Because the feeling will never change, no matter what. How could they change when he had none at all?

"Sasori…"

"What did I tell you about-"

"I don't care. I'll find an honorific later, but for now you're Sasori."

He really did know how to annoy him. But he didn't mind as much. Maybe he built up a bit more tolerance.

Just a bit, though.

"And what's wrong with Sasori, anyways? Seriously, it has a really nice ring to it. And it's so much more fun than boring old "Akasuna-san. And did I mention how nice of a ring it has to it?"

"No."

"That wasn't even a yes or no question, yeah!

"I know where you're going with this. No."

"And why are you always so cold? I get that your parents died and all but so did mine, and I ended up so much better. Why don't you show some reactions once in a while? Convince people that you're actually human?"

The brat had the nerve to compare him with himself? Sasori flicked the other in the forehead. As to why he decided upon this method of punishment, he would never know.

But it started something much greater than he had bargained for.

"Ow! What was that for?"

"You told me to show some reactions once in a while," Sasori replied, sarcasm dripping from his voice. "That was my reaction to you talking."

"You know, you're never going to make any friends like that, yeah. Are you really willing to be alone in the world forever?"

"Why is that any of your concern?"

"Tsk, you're so pitiful."

"Have you looked in a mirror recently?"

"What, do you pity me because I have friends?"

"Friends? Oh, you mean those other brats that follow you around?"

"It's not very nice to call other people that."

"The truth isn't always nice, brat."

"…" Deidara reached over and gave Sasori a flick to the forehead.

If this were to happen any other day with any other person, Sasori would have probably gotten very irritated, and would have told the person to cease his bratty actions. Or maybe he would have just walked away and left the poor person in the dark by himself. Or maybe he wouldn't have cared at all; it wasn't like it hurt him _that much_.

But maybe he liked seeing the blonde get all worked up over nothing. Or maybe he just hadn't had some fun in a while. Not that he needed to have fun to survive, but who didn't like a bit of it every once in a while?

Maybe that's why instead of walking away like the mature student he was, he flicked him back.

Which led to Deidara flicking him back.

Which led to him flicking Deidara back, again.

Which ultimately led to a great flicking war between the two.

"You're getting serious now, yeah?" The blonde stood up and lightly jabbed him in the stomach with his foot.

"This is nothing, brat," Sasori responded as he also stood up.

Deidara smirked. "Really? Well, I'm just getting started as well."

His jabs suddenly started to come quicker. Sasori tried to match his pace, but couldn't keep up. He ended up falling backwards as Deidara advanced, soon leaning over him.

The blonde's smirk only grew wider. "And you were saying, Sasori, yeah?"

"Shut up."

"I don't think that's the best thing to be saying to your superio-aah!" He heard Deidara trip on his foot (typical), and fall towards him. Luckily, Deidara reached out his arms, stopping him from flat-out landing on Sasori.

"Brat, watch it! I don't want a broken nose, mind you."

"Ow!" Deidara hissed, arms still supporting him. "Sasori, I think I did something to my wrist."

"What?!"

"It hurts. It actually really hurts. I can't support myself anymore… aah!" And with that, Deidara collapsed on top of him. So much for not breaking his nose.

"Ga-ah!" Sasori cried out as the breath was knocked out of him. "Br-at… get off…"

"Ow, sorry." Deidara grunted as he rolled off Sasori, who gingerly prodded his chest. It didn't seem like a bruise was forming, but it was a bit sore. Overall, he was alright.

He couldn't say the same for the blonde.

_Snap. _"Ow." _Crack. _"Ow." _Pop. _"_Ow." _

"If it hurts, then stop doing it," Sasori responded in irritation. Well, mostly irritation.

"I'm trying to find out what I did to it. It's not like I'm doing it on purpose." Deidara snapped back.

"It's better to secure your wrist so it doesn't move, until you're within medical support. Didn't you learn anything from the first aid course?"

"The manual stated that it was better to figure out if you could beforehand."

"Why don't you refer to common sense and the convenience of your own self before referring to some manual? Let's say you found the cause of pain. It turns out the wrist is broken. Does this information help you at all at the moment?" Deidara faintly shook his head. "No, I didn't think so." 

The child could be really dumb sometimes. He would have snapped his wrists off clean had Sasori not stopped him. And then probably state that his wrists were now gone, and in "real, actual pain."

He could still hear Deidara's wrists cracking. Not because he was moving them intentionally, but because he was shaking. Maybe it was just a reaction of going into a severe amount of shock. Sasori had never broken anything before, so he only had the knowledge of textbooks and the medical course.

Speaking of the medical course, what were they taught to do in this situation? Isolated with damaged wrists and a partner. Proper medical equipment: none.

Well first of all, he had to secure the wrist. But with what? Sasori reached into his sweater pocket. Nothing there, not even a tissue. Then again, a tissue wouldn't have helped them much in this situation, since Deidara wasn't bleeding or…

Wait.

He had reached into his _sweater _pocket.

Which meant that he had a sweater on.

Which meant…

Sasori quickly took off the article of clothing and tied it loosely around Deidara's neck. The blonde in front of him jumped slightly at the sudden action, but didn't say anything.

Once the arms of the sweater were knotted together, he gently placed Deidara's arms in the makeshift sling he had made. Usually this was meant for one arm, but Sasori had adjusted it so that it could accommodate two. After the deed he felt somewhat… pleased with himself. Well, of course he was; the sling had worked, and it was always a good feeling when you did something right.

But this was different. It was more of a fluttery feeling.

"Thanks, Sasori, yeah." Deidara said, for the fourth time today. Usually, Sasori would get annoyed, for unneeded repetition was quite bothering.

But when Deidara would thank him, or say something relatively nice – or even open his mouth to speak – Sasori would tolerate it a bit more. A lot more. It was as if the helpless male in front of him was the center of every weird feeling he felt.

But in reality, it wasn't, of course.

Because Sasori didn't feel feelings.

And yet he did.

What?

Every thought that was going through his head was contradicting the previous ones. It rarely happened to him, but when it did, Sasori would shut his mind down. Just forget everything. Think of nothing. This trick never failed him. He would use it if he didn't understand a certain answer in Language Arts, or if he couldn't get the taxes quite right, or when something didn't quite happen the way he thought it out to be.

Just turn all the engines off, and let the ideas settle in his brain without his consent. Then – after a while – he would come back to the matter. By then, his mind would become clearer, and he was able to approach the problems with ease.

So that's what he did. He removed all thoughts, all opinions, all logic.

And theoretically, he was to be left with nothing. That's what would always happen. That's what was supposed to happen.

However, this time around, there was one more element that he never had to deal with before.

Emotions.

And having emotions and _only _emotions, without thoughts or opinion or logic… it could be quite a mess.

And quite a mess it was.

His mind was clouded by nothing but Deidara. The blonde brat that was right there, cracking his wrists like an idiot. But in the end, he wasn't a brat and he wasn't an idiot. Well, he was, but that wasn't all that was there.

It was Deidarathat made him smile without reason. It was Deidara that made him feel warm. It was Deidara that made his chest do a ticklish, fluttery thing.

And it was because it was Deidara that he was going out of his way to do all these things. Not for himself. And it wasn't just tolerance for him. It was something else.

And – just maybe – he wanted be better friends with him. Not that they were already friends, but still.

'_He's a brat.'_

'_He's an idiot.'_

He pushed the thoughts away and focused on what his feelings had to say. Wait, what his _feelings _had to say? No, he had to stop this now. He didn't have feelings. He really didn't. No, no, no. He had no heart, right? That's what everyone said. That's what he said. He was basically a puppet, an empty shell with nothing inside but the necessities.

No.

He did indeed have a heart. It wasn't even made out of wood, or stone. It was just… frozen.

And frozen hearts could be melted, could they not?

By then, his logic sense couldn't bear it any longer and rushed back into his head. All that didn't have reason was shoved to the back of his head, where it couldn't be touched until later.

Well, his mind should be clearer now that some things have been put away.

But it just left him more confused than ever.

And this made him quite… annoyed.


End file.
